Lauren’s life changed overnight when she became disabled, redundant and had three children to look after. Margaret, her Home-Start volunteer came in and changed everything. Margaret enabled her to start building her life back up, so much so that Lauren is now giving back to other mums. We caught up with Lauren to hear how her life has changed since Home-Start supported her in 2021. 

Lauren is a mum of three children. Whilst she was pregnant with her third child, she severely injured her back. “I remember crawling around on the floor. I was in so much pain. I lost control of my right leg, and my glute muscle deteriorated.”

Lauren's condition was so bad that she wasn't able to drive and needed a mobility scooter for a while. This made the nursery and school run really difficult, balancing two kids at two different places with a newborn.

Her husband Jamie had to leave his own business he’d started to look after Lauren and the children. Lauren found herself disabled and had been made redundant. She spoke about feeling lost and that was taking a toll on her mental health and putting a strain on her relationships.

 “We lost everything overnight. People started to judge us and it was such a hard time.”

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Since becoming a mum for the first time and struggling with motherhood, Lauren volunteered as breastfeeding support worker at the children’s centre and also became an Empowering Parents and Empowering Communities Training Lead but then came the complications and redundancy.

She opened up about the struggles she was going through and the Children’s Centre referred her to Home-Start Nottingham. They didn’t qualify for any other support, but Home-Start came to help.

Margaret, a Home-Start volunteer, was matched with Lauren. Margaret started helping with the school run and coming back to their house to play with the children whilst Lauren cooked a meal, or sometimes they would just chat. This gave great comfort to Lauren as her mum had died when she was 26 years old.

Tobias, Lauren’s eldest, has Autism and ADHD and was not getting help from school at the time so he would be extremely explosive when he got home. Jaxon the middle child was very destructive and the baby Alara had a milk allergy that made cooking an already gluten-free meal more difficult as Lauren changed recipes and tried to watch the kids at the same time.

But Margaret was there for a few hours a week to entertain the children so Lauren could get a handle on cooking without fights, destruction or crying. Some days, when the children were settled, napping or Jamie was home to play with them, Margaret was there to listen to Lauren, non judgementally, and this really helped Lauren to voice her feelings, feel heard and validated.

Having a Home-Start volunteer, the act of kindness that came with it, helped Lauren re-fill her own cup, emotionally. It was always Lauren and Jamie who gave to others and receiving was never a thing until that year. It was a realisation that it’s ok to ask for help. 

Over time, the small acts of kindness from Margaret added up and made a huge impact. Lauren qualified as a life coach and Jamie was able to build his business. In 2021, Margaret put the family forward for a John Lewis magical Christmas competition which gave them a Christmas they’ll never forget.

“We loved decorating the tree together. We’ve still got it! I get emotional thinking about that Christmas. It was so special. A few years later we went into the store, and we updated James (the John Lewis manager) who helped us pick out the tree and decorations on how much they impacted our lives that year.”

After that Christmas, the family still had some mountains to climb. Their son Tobias was still waiting for the diagnosis for Autism and ADHD. “He wasn’t get on well at school, he went from a really happy child to saying that he’d rather die than go to school.

After rehabilitation therapy, Lauren was able to ditch her mobility scooter and get back on her feet. But the family didn’t know where to go from there. They sat down together as a family and decided what they should do.

We weren’t getting any support from our families. It was very hard, but we sold our family home. That was a big thing for me as it was my auntie’s house before ours and had been a big part of my life for years. We started off in a 7-seater car, got a trailer and a tent and set off for the South of England. We felt so free! Eventually, we got a Campervan and travelled round Europe for the next 3 years, ticking off 30 countries before flying out to the USA and travel 5 states.

“As I travelled, I started having conversations around the world with different mums who were once like me, feeling lost.” 
Lauren knew that she wanted to give something back and started focusing her coaching towards helping all mothers, empowering them to step out of the shadows of self-neglect into a happier and fulfilled life.

Lauren has written a book, Me Time Mentality that aims to empower mothers to rediscover who they are whilst still being a present mum, by using the power of small steps to impactful change. Lauren welcomes anyone struggling to reach out to her and Home-Start.

“Tell us how you are feeling, we don’t judge you, we support you, you are holding your family together, but who is holding you together?”